Stories
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When I met Debbie, sometime in the mid 80's, I can't remember; I met a fellow wanderer. We were actually brought together because she wanted to know about my job being a group travel escort. To be able to travel and get paid. She was ready to sign on. But as an eventual roommate of hers, her wandering became problematic. You would never know where she was or when she would return. As women living in the city I gave her grief about this often.
Debbie was the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. She was eclectic in her style and tastes and I was drawn to try and emulate that. I'm still trying.
At a function once at the Park Plaza hotel I took Nancy and Debbie. As we were standing around someone I knew approached so I introduced them. "This is my roommate Nancy", and looking right at Debbie I said, " and this is my other roommate Nancy". I believe at some point they were introduced as both being my roommate Debbie. This is how much I believe we were one in the same.
Debbie is one of my four closet woman friends who I tell anything to and walk through life with. Although there are things about her I don't know, I believe it was the particular moment in time that we met that made us as close as we became.
I left Boston in 2001 to move to my hometown in Ft. Lauderdale. It was a particularly hard move to leave friends, but a more poignant sadness hit me to leave a friend whose journey I surmised was going to get more difficult. On my last handful of visits with her in the past couple of years, as was her style, she always looked fabulous, had a smile on her face, and was ready for an adventure. It's my hope that she was satisfied. I love everything that she was and I will be forever blessed having had her in my life.
Always in my heart, Sandy (Gattis)
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I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them;
but then an entire life to forget them. xoH
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I’ve known Deb since becoming friends with her brother Chuck around 1975. (Where’d the time go!) After hanging out with Chuck for a while I was more or less taken in as an “adopted other son” by his family (Mary Jane in particular) and so got to know his family quite well. Due to the hierarchy of youth, it took a while to get to know Deb however once accepted, we were friends for a lifetime. Deb possessed both inner and exterior beauty without being stuck up about it, which is a rare virtue indeed. Among her favorite things were nature, sailing, cooking, eating! and friendship. When Deb was diagnosed with MS I remember balling like a baby one time thinking, why now, why her, why someone so innocent and caring. Unfortunately we all know that’s not how life works. Deb showed incredible courage in the face of this disease; courage I quite honestly don’t know that I’d have if dealt a similar fate. When I saw her in her last days of consciousness,(incredibly) she still possessed that beauty and managed to clutch on to me with the strength of someone much healthier which was astonishing given her condition. Deb was also blessed with a great, loving family and circle of friends; the price of which is immeasurable. I don’t know how to summarize this short essay other than to say; great job at life Deb; you had fun, lived life to its fullest and showed courage, strength and integrity in the face of adversity. May your soul sail away to that beautiful island called Avalon and rest in peace everafter; your friend Geordie----
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I met and was introduced to Debbie when she moved in to the LFCL. She came down and visited our house. We didn't start to date until August 2012, two and a half years later. Our hesitant first date quickly grew into a deep love for each other. We would see each other everyday and enjoy our time together. We would talk or just hold hands for hours, enjoying the love and company we felt for each other. Jack Geilfuss
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I remember the time when I first met Deb and it left a lifelong impression. The plan was for all of us to meet at the Hampton Falls boat ramp and take two boats out to the ocean to hang around,,, It was an unusually warm early spring day around 70-72 degrees, however the ocean water was a bone chilling 42-45. We always would stop and buy bags of lobster bodies from Hampton harbor on the way out. When arriving at a spot in the open ocean and just getting the anchors down, I heard a splash, looked to the front of the boat and Deb was gone! She dove off the bow. She just felt like swimming! Then while treading water, she taunted all of us to jump in, which we all did and quickly jumped back in the boat shaking and numb. At that point I knew Deb had guts, courage and a lust for life that we should all aspire to. Love you all, Tim
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Back at UNH when I met my wife Judy, Judy and Deb were roommates. I kept asking Judy when I would meet her roommate but it was quite some time till I did. Judy told me later that she was afraid that once I saw how beautiful Deb was it would be over. It was quite a day when we met and Judy was right about on thing, that Deb was very beautiful. After I got to know Deb I realized Deb was even more beautiful on the inside. Some of my best personal memories with Deb was when Deb and I went to England together after she graduated after she completed her masters. That was a very special time sharing that time together. When our boys were born Auntie Deb became a very important part of their lives as well. We will all love and miss Deb until we meet again. Dave
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I have spoken quite a lot to my daughter about Deb (they first met when Meera was about 2 1/2) and most recently of course after Deb’s passing. Sometimes Meera would make pictures for Deb that we’d send her.
I asked if she’d make another, in remembrance. Meera was particularly taken by the stories I related to her of Deb’s love of food (Meera is also a ‘foodie’), and of her time working on a charter sailboat (I recall that Deb once met Walter Cronkite who had rented the boat). Anyway, Meera decided to draw a picture of Deb, in her ‘kichin,’ as a way to remember some of her fun and adventurous pursuits. I don’t know if it’s suitable for the website but thought I’d send it to you anyway. It’s infused with Meera’s (or her father’s?) sense of how cooking is done – witness the microwave soup being the ‘meal’ Deb is making…Cheers,
Peter
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My name is Dorsey Crockett from Nashville, Tn. I had the privilege of getting to know Debbie in 2005 at Spaulding Rehab in Boston. She was such a sweet and interesting person. We spent many an hour talking. I enjoyed her stories about cooking on the sailboat and others. We have kept in touch via e-mails and the cell over the years. In December of this year, she told me that she was thinking of hospice care after Christmas. The time arrived so quickly. I enjoyed meeting and talking to your Mother in Boston. Everyone remembers me with my southern drawl. Please tell your Mother how sorry I am about Debbie. She is finally at rest now with no pain.
Debbie's friend, Dorsey
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After viewing Deb’s pictures, I knew it was going to take me awhile to be able to write. My mind has been flooded with many emotions and memories.
Deb and I met as freshwomen at UNH. I think it was because we lived in the same dorm area that we were able to connect. If Deb lived on the other side of campus,no way
would we have developed a lifelong friendship. I was so different from Deb. She stood out and had that aura about her. (She taught me about that). I still wonder what she
saw in me.
Being in college without the real responsibilities of life, we had many opportunities to go off in all directions. She was the sophisticated, more culturally advanced one. I
was out of my league, but it didn’t matter.
I also want to mention Deb’s family. Who knows what you thought after my first visit. All I know is that I’ve always felt welcomed and special. Thank-you for making me
feel like family.
One person can make a difference. Deb was, will always be my best and most remarkable, unforgettable friend. Peace be with you. Jude
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Hard to know where to begin, but "Auntie" Deb was the closest "family" to me second to my Mom (Judy), Dad (Dave) and brother (Devon). Memories of her in my life go back to..well... as far as I can remember. She was so involved with me growing up and was such a close friend of Mom and Dad. I remember visits when she lived in Old Lyme and then Hampton. Even when I did not see Auntie Deb, Mom and Dad were big on talking on the phone, and there was a long stretch I can remember of us calling every week, passing the phone around and just catching up. She knew me better than anyone I think except my parents, and I am so happy for the times we spent together. When I started flying she was always very keen to hear details about that and it was a wonderful day in my life when I got to take her flying on March 21, 2009, the first day of Spring that year. We took off from Hampton and went down the coast to Plum Island, MA. I remember the day very clearly, it was just about thawed out on the runway in Hampton and Auntie Deb wheeled over in her power wheelchair. She got kind of close to the plane and part of it hit the side and put a very very slight dent in the aluminum skin of the plane about a foot long along the co-pilots side. I wasn't too concerned about it, and am actually glad its there now. Anyways I remember lifting her up and swinging her into the plane and off we went. She seemed to be really happy to get off the ground, as was I to get to fulfill this dream I had to take her up in the sky. So now I look back on that and all the other memories I've had with her. She really was family to me. Her heart was so full of love for everyone around her, and the radiance of her personality was infectious. I'll love her and miss her forever, until we meet again someday. Trevor
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Debbie Lees was a gift and a loving and courageous inspiration in my life, as she was and always will be in the lives and hearts of so many others.
Debbie’s biological father, Charles Lees, 8 or 9 years older than I, was my step-brother for 10 or 12 years, during his teens and early 20s, until his father and my mother divorced around 1960. For the next 40 years, Charles and I were completely out of touch, except for a couple of telephone conversations in the months before his death in 2000. When my wife Nancy and I went to his memorial service in Florida, we met Kate, obviously a kind and caring person.
A few weeks later, knowing that Debbie lived in Connecticut, about a 45-minute drive from where Nancy and I continue to live, Kate contacted Debbie to ask whether she would be interested in meeting me. Debbie agreed to meet; we had lunch at a restaurant in Old Lyme, (where Nancy and I continue to have dinner 5 or 6 times a year, each time remembering Deb), and we started a loving friendship that soon expanded to include a happy and loving connection to Mary Jane…whom I mostly remembered from my early teenaged perspective as an absolute knockout beauty (some things never change!).
Thereafter, Nancy and I enjoyed several family visits with Deb in Old Lyme, and then with her and Mary Jane in Hampton and then in Chelsea. We were always inspired by the love, respect, courage and generosity of spirit that characterizes both of them.
Despite her challenges, Deb seemed to continue being a Renaissance woman, with her wide-ranging knowledge and interests. And, remarkably, she had an unfailing interest in the people around her, always asking how everyone else was doing, sprinkling her warm words of care, concern and affection on everyone around her. Her grace and lovingness will endure in our hearts and minds, as will our gratitude for having had her in our lives for a while and for serving as the conduit for a re-connection with Mary Jane and a new connection with Chuck, Melissa and Amanda. Gerry Whitehead.
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I first met Debbie when she came to my yoga class. I remember our first meeting so well. She entered the room, smiling and radiant. We instantly bonded and became fast friends. We shared many fun times together, but the best and most "Debbie" day we shared was the day I took her kayaking with Melissa's help. Melissa and I helped her get into the kayak and off Deb and I went. I was concerned the entire time that she might flip the boat...of course she didn't. We finally returned to the dock. I got out first and Melissa and I prepared to help her out. Deb smiled as she paddled away...her smile turned into laugher as she paddled away from us saying she was not going to come out! Debbie was a very special woman who inspired me in so many ways. Deb, I will never forget you and will always love you. Joanne
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My friend is at peace. This thought makes the fact that she is gone easier to accept. I still think about her every day. I think about how supportive you all were throughout her life. I think about how much she loved Hana, Jack and Raisa. I think about how one of the less obvious ways you supported her was by being blind to her wheelchair. You helped her to go and do so many things that otherwise would have been impossible.
I remember getting into the Saab with MJ and the kids for an ice cream when Deb was still transferring. The mosquitos were fierce that night. Jack started shouting "Hurry up Buddie!!!" as Deb was maneuvering herself into the passenger seat. It made me chuckle and appreciate how great it was that she was being treated like any other "slow" person. It's a perfect example of what I mean by being blind to the wheelchair.
I was always impressed by how you found ways to get Debbie to your homes, restaurantsDebbie's, to museums and art galleries, to movies, to anywhere she wanted to go. She lived an adventure filled life in her 55 years - in defiance of MS.
I try to concentrate on the good that came out of Debbie's fight with MS - the time I walked in on MJ brushing and blowing Deb's hair. It seemed so special and loving to me and would not have happened if Deb was walking - the fact that she met Jack G - the many people's lives she touched with her grace and courage.
They say you can choose your friends, but your stuck with your family. Debbie and I are lucky to be "stuck" with our families. They are our dearest and best friends. Debbie and I shared our friendship with our families. My family loved Debbie. I love all of you. Paula
This poem reminds me of what my dear friend might say to those she loved.
To Those I Love
(Isla Paschal Richardson)
If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the silent way
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come - I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song
Or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still to do -
So many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear...
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see beyond...
But this I know
I love you so -
'twas heaven here with you!
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Deb
Adventurer
About five years ago, Deb and I went to Ogunquit for the day. Our visit included the cliff walk. I had never been there before, and was amazed by it's beauty. Deb was in her electric wheelchair, and before I knew what was happening, she was zooming far ahead of me. The walk is on steep cliffs, and has some pretty hairy twists and turns. I ran to catch up with Deb and expressed my concern that she might want to slow down and be careful. Deb smiled, and took off again, leaving me with visions of calling Mary Jane from the nearest hospital.
Teacher
Deb was a natural teacher, and shortly after she moved into the apartment in Boston in the mid 80's, she attempted to teach Sandy and me how to knit. Despite her good intensions and patience, our efforts failed. Could it have had something to do with the Myer's Dark Rum and OJ drink that she introduced us to that very same night? More recently, I received successful lessons from Deb, and ,earned to make pasta and pizza. No rum involved, but lots of laughter, per usual.
Friend
Many years ago, Sandy, Debbie and I went to Guadeloupe for vacation. Deb needed assistance when walking, but, per usual, that did not keep her from taking part in everything. One afternoon a tour guide took us to a small secluded bay to go snorkeling. Once in the water, wearing her mask and fins Deb was transformed into a graceful, natural swimmer. We swam out quite far (to me at least) and when it was time to return to shore I looked at the distance and started to panic a bit. Deb saw what was happening, grabbed my hand, and smiled. We swam all the way back to shore hand in hand, with her nodding to me under water and squeezing my hand.
Deb' Family
As so many have written here, meeting Deb meant getting to know her family as well. Mary Jane, thank you for welcoming me into your home, and for the friendship that I have with you. A few months ago, I called you up, not to discuss anything in particular. I told Deb later that when I hung up, I realized that I just needed to talk to Mom. I feel as though I know the rest of Deb's family so well because over the years, and especially during the past few years, Deb and I talked about our families at each visit.
I'll end with words Deb wrote in a card that she sent to me a few years ago: "We are all holding hands." Love to all Nancy Marshall
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